To be honest, I’m a bit scared to graduate from HS. I’m scared of what will happen after that.. College has always been a goal of mine, but as of late I’ve been really confused. I’ve heard many different stories about the main colleges that I want to go to. Some people say it was a waste of time and money others say it wasn’t.. But if I don’t start working harder for a scholarship now, then what.. My parents have problems of their own and there is no way in hell they’re going to pay $32,000 for me to go to college for something that may not even be beneficial in the end. I’ve noticed that a majority of the people that do go to college without a scholarship just end up dropping out or are stuck paying debt until their mid 30s. Including my mom.. It’s scary. I’m only a sophomore and I know I still have some time to figure things out but it seriously just stresses me out so much and watching my sister stress about what she’s going to do about college makes it even worse and makes me want to just forget all about it.. But the one thing I don’t want to end up doing is working shitty jobs that I don’t even like for the rest of my life. I want to actually have a career doing something that I love and I know that college is the only way that would even be the slightest bit possible.. On top of all that my social anxiety is something I have to really work on as well. I’ve noticed that there is absolutely no room in this world for shyness or for worrying about what others think of you. But it’s also not something I can just easily get over on my own.. I have A LOT of work to do in so little time.


Do you ever feel alone even though you are out with your friends? Like they ignore you in their conversations and you don’t know why. Even when you try to put yourself out there in the conversation they ignore your response. Because I feel like that all the time.

(via crystallized-teardrops)